Justification

Did I tell you guys I’d written a novel? I’m sure I have, its called Status Update, contemporary humorous fiction with semi autobiographical undertones. I’ve been coasting off the back of finishing the first draft of a novel ever since I completed it in November. People ask what I do, and I would tell them, based on the fact that I managed to put sixty thousand words in cohesive order, that I was writer. What I actually am is a bit of a fraud.

Written as part of NaNoWrMo the idea was that I would take December off to recharge my batteries and start a second draft in January of this year. That would be ready by March and I could then begin to look at publishers and agents to gauge their interest and then be finishing up a third draft round about now.

The only part of that paragraph that actually happened was I took December off and I have yet to do anything productive to get back to work on ‘Status Update.’ Focus has never been one of my strong points and distraction is something I run to with open arms and a welcoming glass of wine.

In fairness, I have written some stuff. I did some work on a possible TV series with a writing partner but that got quite distracting so I pulled out. I’ve also written a few bits of short stories and I mean bits, I’m not sure any of them are finished. And I’ve got this blog, which basically allows me to lie to my own face every time I trim my beard.

As long as I dedicate myself to write one of these rambling bouts of candy floss once a week I can justify to myself that I’m a writer.
“What are you working on at the moment?” someone who is kind enough to feign an interest might ask. To which I might respond:
“Oh, it’s a think piece on why moustache wax has replaced peoples need for organised religion.”

Or some bullshit like that.

The problem is I really like being a writer; it is by far preferable to being a fraud analyst or a part time Japanese Lifestyle salesman, so it is time to get the finger out. Chatting to a friend about the original draft process, she reminded me that I used this blog as something of a motivational tool. My weekly updates would let the reader know the novels progress and I could use that as a bit of push. I didn’t want to let you guys down. If I ever do get the book published you guys are the most likely to buy it.

So here is the challenge. On the 21st of September I am due to fly out to Madrid for another Pueblo Ingles programme. By the time that comes around, if I do not have a second, bigger, better draft of ‘Status Update,’ when I return I shall stop referring to myself as a writer. I’ll hang up my biro and get a job in a call centre. I’ll shave off my beard and listen to a Script album.

If you guys could help I would really appreciate it. If you see me out in a social situation, ask what the word count is at. Question how the character development of Hannah Bracewell is going. Tell me to go home and do some fucking work.

I’ll check in again next week and let you know how it’s getting on. The plan is to have 10000 words done by this time next week. I haven’t picked a great week to begin the challenge. I’m helping out with a comedy writing workshop in Fighting Words so it’s a pretty busy week.

Excuses, excuses.