Employment

With the desperation of a man reduced to scavenging one and two cent pieces to pay his bus fair, I renewed my thus far fruitless search for fulltime employment. It’s not something I do lightly, my current lifestyle suits me, working part time in retail and focusing on my writing and philanthropic work (yea that’s what I’m calling volunteering to write stories with kids,)for the rest of the week.

The lack of money doesn’t really bother me. I try keeping my spending simple and extravagancies to a minimum. I occasionally miss being able to bang tickets for gigs on the credit card but generally I know this is a much better way to lead my life. That said I could do with some extra money.

Logging into Jobs.ie resulted in what I feared. Nobody is hiring a slightly lazy writer in his mid thirties who starts work at 11:15. This meant I would have to go back to what I did before, namely customer service and admin.

It will be hard for me going back into that soulless atmosphere and following the protocol of a faceless management who view employees merely as cogs in the profit machine. I hoped I might find something a bit more personal. I didn’t. What I found was even more vile and despicable than I could have imagined.

Instead of multimillion pound looking to hire overqualified people to do basic jobs for minimum wages I found this. Insurance company Aon are hiring an intern under the Jobbridge scheme.

JobBridge is programme set up in order to help people new to the workforce gain experience through internship. To qualify the jobseeker needs to be claiming social welfare benefits which they are allowed to continue to collect, with a stipend of €50, for the duration of the internship. To me, this sounds like a great initiative allowing people to use their time to improve their skill set and increase their chances of finding full time employment.

The interns that I have met through Fighting Words were all doing it for these reasons even before the inception of Jobbridge. I think they deserve the opportunity to improve their lot without risking their benefits. I was under the impression that it would mostly be NGO’s and other non profit bodies like Fighting Words that would benefit from the scheme

The job Aon are advertising appears to be a basic entry level customer care position. Low experience shouldn’t be a problem and is probably expected as they would need to train any suitable applicants in company specific products and procedures. I can say this, having looked at hundreds of such Job specs in my time with similar requirements, aptitudes and specification.

It seems to me that they are taking advantage of the intern scheme and offering what other companies advertise as low pay, low experience jobs but with the benefit of them having to not pay the applicant a penny. The employee would be expected to work a full week for and survive on his, which works out, against an average 39 hour week, to be €6.10cent per hour as opposed to a minimum wage of €8.65.

Aon are a pretty successful company. They have a long term sponsorship deal with Manchester United and according to their 2010 Annual report they are “the #1 intermediary of primary risk insurance and #1 intermediary of reinsurance” And “created the #1 human resource consulting and outsourcing firm with unmatched talent and capabilities.” They don’t seem like a company who would need to save €337 a week for the sake of one employee.

They might argue that working with Aon is a priceless opportunity and all experience garnered would be excellent reward when it comes to future employment opportunities. I’d argue that if they need someone to the job, pay them fairly.

I won’t be applying for this job. I can survive on what I have and I don’t need the experience of being a dogsbody. And if I do get a job elsewhere and buy things that might need insuring I would be reluctant to use Aon based on this. If you pay peanuts you get monkeys, so you would have to wonder what they get.

Mutual

September 10th 2009.A pretty non eventful day for many although not without consequence. One day before the anniversary the World Trade Centre attack it was surely significant for relatives of victims. A shared birthday for the unlikely celebrity trio of Ryan Philippe, Joe Perry and Arnold Palmer. Who can forget that it was 32nd anniversary of the last person to be guillotined in France? That being Hamida Djandoubi of course.

For me, however, it is a momentous date. It was on that day that my life changed, hopefully forever, and I began on what has since proved to be the happiest, most fulfilled period of my life. That is because on that day, exactly one year ago from the day when I type this, I walked out of Meteor Mobile Communications for the last time.

It was an amazing day. I was embarking on the biggest adventure into the unknown I’d ever taken. I had no idea what lay ahead. And I couldn’t have been more excited.

I know in this time of economic uncertainty that anyone excited about losing a job must be considered a mental health risk. Well if I’m honest in my case it was the exact opposite. Leaving Meteor was the best thing I could ever do for my sanity.

I’ve spoken before about how I was stressed by the job of Fraud Analyst and how it was genuinely affecting my health but I’m not sure if that paints a full and fair picture. Its not that the job itself was particularly stressful on its own. My performance in the role wasn’t good enough really. This was mostly due to not liking the job in any way.

If I was getting any joy from the job I probably would have worked harder. The work I did would possibly have been better. I would not have made the same basic mistakes over and over again. But I didn’t. This led me down the road to what is known as the ‘Disciplinary Process.’

You’ve all heard of it I’m sure. You sit down and discuss how ‘we’ can work on ‘our’ issues. If that isn’t successful you then have things like ‘Training Programmes.’ This is followed by warnings of the verbal and written nature.

If I had been honest, with myself and with my boss, when we were discussing ‘my issues’ I would have said I hate this job and left there and then. That, however, is not really a practical move. Everyone hates their job, right? No one walks away from a very decent job and decent package because they don’t like it. You suck it up, right?

And that’s what I tried to do. I ended up creating cycle of misery that was constantly perpetuating. I’d hate the job so I’d make a mistake so I’d hate the job so I’d make a mistake so I’d….you get the idea.
Have you ever rang in sick just because you know you made a mistake? It doesn’t make the mistake go away. It just delays having to deal with it. This I know from experience.

Without going into too much detail, one of my mistakes got so out of hand that it was the focus of a report by the RTE news programme Primetime. A call-back to a customer, something very simple, that I didn’t do got escalated to the point where it was on national TV. I didn’t call him back because he wasn’t listening to me anyway so I said fuck him.

Not great customer service I know but the results did seem a little exaggerated. Imagine having your boss call you to a meeting and say you messed up on this and by the way the country’s broadcasters are going to be covering it. That’s a lot of pressure. That was the straw before the straw that broke the camels back.

To be honest I can’t even remember what the actual final nail was. All I remember was I was on a weeks holiday away from it and recharging my batteries for one more push at being a dedicated, diligent and committed Fraud Analyst. On the Friday before I was due to start back I got a phone call from one of my colleagues. Just giving me a heads up, something I was supposed to do had gone awry.

A whole week off of relaxing and gearing myself up for once more into breech, gone. Out the window. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was dreading Monday and was fully expecting that I would go in on Monday morning and be fired. What happened next was an unexpected piece of fortune

Not wanting to endure the whole rigmarole that goes along with these disciplinary meetings I went in ready to end it all. Like a Samurai about to perform Seppuku I explained I knew what had happened and I knew what the repercussions would be. I asked them to make it quick as I wanted to get it over with as I was tired of it all and if it wasn’t for the fact that I couldn’t sign on the dole I would quit right now.

This apparently was some secret magic formula. The powers that be went from being my (self-perceived) worst enemies to being the people who were happy to help me set up what was to become my new life. A package was agreed and I would be ending my working relationship with Meteor by mutual agreement. MUTUAL AGREEMENT. Just like Martin O’Neill.

I finished up two days later. They were keen not to drag it out. In fairness if I was slacking off when I was trying to keep my job what would I be like when I knew I was going.

On my final day I had an exit meeting with my manager. For the first time ever I was able to just be honest about my feelings for the job. It was really liberating.

I do need to make one thing clear. Meteor Mobile Communications is a great company to work for (or they were most of the time I was there.) I have no bad blood against them or my managers who were doing their job when I wasn’t doing mine. I was just not meant to that job. Since then I think I’ve figured out that I’m not cut out for office work in general. I think Meteor bore the brunt of my brain and spirit rebelling against 8 years in an air conditioned, neon lit purgatory.

When I left the exit meeting my colleagues were waiting with cake and biscuits to say goodbye. It was really nice. They didn’t really know the circumstances of my leaving and as we sat around and chatted about what I was going to do it began to feel more and more that not only was it the right decision but it felt like it was my decision.

One colleague asked if I was going to miss them. I the time I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to offend anyone. As people I knew I would miss some of them but I wouldn’t miss going into that office to see them everyday. If I were to see any of them in the outside world I’d be delighted.

So once the cake and biscuit was gone and the goodbyes were said, I was escorted from the building. A standard procedure but it still felt funny. I didn’t mind though. They could have had an armed response unit throw me out the door and I’d still be delighted. I got in my car and drove into the afternoon sun having chosen Ghost Town by the Specials as the song to play as I left the Meteor car park for the last time.

Of course it can be argued that with hindsight it’s easy to say it was the best thing to ever happen to me. But even then, as soon as I realised I was free, I knew ‘it’ would work out for me. Whatever ‘it’ was. I had no idea what I wanted to do, or where I could do it. I just knew I’d be happy.

And I am. I work part time to pay the bills. I do some voluntary work which is incredibly rewarding and I have the time to pursue a dream of being a writer. I mean that’s what I’ve always wanted to be. I remember being child with the whole world in front of him. Then a teenager with hopes, not twisted by years of working a spirit sapping low reward jobs. First he wanted to be Indiana Jones and then a writer.

I don’t recall him ever wanting to be a Fraud Analyst.

NutJob

Being Unemployed isn’t easy. For a start I have a part time (casual) job and that really hampers my status on the live register. Despite technically not being out of work I feel I am entitled to an opinion on the subject. I lost my previous full time job and have to endure the joys of visiting the social welfare office and dealing with the most uncivil servants you could ever hope to avoid.

This is my second go at being on the dole. This time my visits to the social welfare offie seem to be fraught with anxiety and fear for many. People have more to lose this go around. I remember when a spell on the dole was to be expected and while I can’t say I particularly enjoyed it, I was ok with it. As were most of the people. There was almost a sense of bonhomie That all changed of course with the economic boom and the ‘Celtic Tiger’.

I was last one of the unwaged warriors back when all this recession nonsense was just called being working class. To paraphrase Outspan Foster, how could be working class if there was no jobs.

Of course, these days people have come to expect more from life and have higher expectations. They also have mortgages, loans, second mortgages, car repayments and credit cards. The kind of financial icebergs that could sink the most titanic of individuals. Back in the 90’s most people on the dole did not have these nooses around their neck. Times are indeed tough.

Every persons position is different. Some people have mortgages, others don’t. Many people have families, wives and kids to support, some don’t. I can only look at it at it from my perspective and I, being a man with a positive outlook, however, refuse to accept that it is all doom and gloom. Its not all bad. It can’t be. And if you let it be all bad, then you are in trouble my friends.

I know its not always easy to see the wood for the trees but there is one huge positive of being unemployed. Time. Lots and lots of free time. And while that might sound like my Mastermind specialist subject is ‘the bleedin obvious,’ just because people have extra time on their hands, it doesn’t necessarily follow that they make the best use of this time

Its very easy to fall into an unproductive way of life when you don’t have to get up and go to work every morning. The most important thing I find is to get up in the morning. Again, not exactly an earth shattering revelations by John there, but its so easy to fall in the trap. You know, you wake up about 10.30, you’ll lie in bed for another 30 to 45 minutes. Maybe you’ll read for a bit. If you have a TV in bedroom you might watch a movie. Suddenly its 2 pm. There isn’t much point in trying to do anything for the rest of the day, everything in this country closes at 5 anyway. So you might just sit around and watch daytime TV.

This is a big mistake. Daytime TV is like crack. Its fun and amusing. It comes in small chunks so it never feels like you are going to far with it. But as soon as one ’hit’ is done you start to get the urge for just one more. Sure what harm can it do?

Well lets take a look at what we could have looked at today shall we?

On RTE 1, our national broadcasters, whose remit does mention words like ‘information,’ ‘education’and ‘quality programming’, we have, in a row, Murder She Wrote, The Doctors, Doctor Phil, and then repeats of Fair City, Neighbours, Home and Away and Eastenders. What? No Oprah?

On BBC1, the equivalent of RTE for our nearest neighbours its worse. Homes Under the Hammer, To Buy Or Not To Buy, Cash in the Attic and Bargain Hunt. The one thing in this list of tripe’s favour is the fact that you might discover that an elderly relative might have something that is worth bumping her off in these times of financial strife.

So stop it. Turn it off. All of it. Its designed to keep you in an idiotic stupor. Television, while having the potential to bring magnificence in the form of art or education, is mostly used for the forces of evil. David Dickenson, Handy Andy and the entire cast of Fair City are no better than Mein Kampf or any other propaganda tool.

Next we need to cut down on other bad habits. Get up do some exercise, go for a walk. Exercise your brain, read a book. Limit the time you spend on the internet. A ‘friend’ of mine once told me he ‘amused’ himself (youknowwhatimsayin) 7 times in one day because he had nothing else to do. This is not healthy people.

Find productive ways to spend your time. Learn a language. Volunteer for stuff. Make yourself available to help an elderly neighbour. Pick a project and do it. This is my favourite. I shall be telling you all about my latest project at some stage soon.

The most important thing is not to panic. Never question if you are capable and if you are useful. You will always find something to utilise your talent and skills, even if it is for free. Financially this isn’t the soundest business plan. But if it makes you feel good to be doing stuff, then do it.

So apply for jobs. As many as you can. But remember, you have a luxury that you would have been grateful for not so long ago. Spend time with the kids, read a book, do some DIY. Enjoy your time, while you have it.


Ok I got a bit behind on the ol bloggerino. So I owe you one from last week. Look out for some sort of make up article later in the week.