Fandom

On June 12^th 1988 I was in Co Wicklow with the 47^th Cub Scout troop camping. Before twelve year old had a mobile phone, we pitched our tents on the floor of a river valley surrounded by the greenest woodland and with the exception of the occasional plane flying over head the outside world could not get near us. That was until Ian Corcoran took his contraband transistor radio out of his rucksack.

We were not supposed to bring such things on camp; it was all about getting back to basics. Anyone caught with such an illicit item would be punished by having their mother told. But ‘Corco’ was willing to risk it. He wanted to hear what was happening in the match.

“What match?” I naively asked.

“We are playing England in the Euros.”

This was news to me although I did twig that by we he meant Ireland and that by the Euros he meant soccer. I didn’t have much interest in sport back then. I occasionally played 5 a side football (not very well as I have mentioned previously,) but I had always assumed that Ireland weren’t very good.

“They’ll slaughter us,” I said both unpatriotically and insensitively, considering the violent history of both nations.

“Not necessarily,” his scorn barely concealed. “We’re much better now that Jack Charlton is the manager.”

I remembered my dad giving out about the disgrace of having an Englishman as manager. And there were few more English than Jack Charlton; he’d won the world cup with them and everything. To hear my friend sticking up and praising this guy now was very confusing. So with a mumbled “so what” I went about the business of taking down our camp while Ian listened to the match.

He screamed when Ray Houghton put the ball in the English net. He gasped at every save Packie Bonner made. As the match progressed more and more scouts, including me gathered around him to listen to what would be a famous win for the Republic of Ireland.  A victory I didn’t fully comprehend until we were driving back to Dublin later that day.

As we drove through towns and villages people were dancing on the street, waving their pints in the air. Cars beeped their horns in celebration. Irishmen kissed each other on the cheek in an outpouring of emotion that had never before been seen on Isle of Saints and Scholars. It was a party.

And so my interest was piqued. I made a point of watching the next Ireland game against the USSR. They were definitely much better than us, surely. The England game was a fluke. The Soviets would wipe the floor with us, wouldn’t they? They didn’t and when Ronnie Whelan scored one of the greatest goals ever (with his shin) my teenage love affair with football was concreted.

Sadly over the years, as is the way with life, I have allowed myself to become cynical about soccer. Millionaire footballers running around the pitch with impeccable hair and sculpted chests mean nothing to me. I have no connection to someone who just wants the ref to blow so that he can get out and pick up his latest wannabe WAG.

It didn’t help that Ireland became a horrible team to support. Poor results matched by poor performances meant that the joy I got from being a plucky underdog had dissipated. We could barely beat Wales.

Then came Giovanni Trapattoni. The Italian embraced negative football. If the other team can’t score we can’t lose was his thinking. Not necessarily the most attractive way to play the beautiful game but it has been effective.

Today for the first time in ten years, the Republic of Ireland takes to the field in a major football championship. So for the day that’s in it I will allow myself to to be the hopeful, cheering pre pubescent that I was in 1988.

Come On You Boys in Green.

Mutual

September 10th 2009.A pretty non eventful day for many although not without consequence. One day before the anniversary the World Trade Centre attack it was surely significant for relatives of victims. A shared birthday for the unlikely celebrity trio of Ryan Philippe, Joe Perry and Arnold Palmer. Who can forget that it was 32nd anniversary of the last person to be guillotined in France? That being Hamida Djandoubi of course.

For me, however, it is a momentous date. It was on that day that my life changed, hopefully forever, and I began on what has since proved to be the happiest, most fulfilled period of my life. That is because on that day, exactly one year ago from the day when I type this, I walked out of Meteor Mobile Communications for the last time.

It was an amazing day. I was embarking on the biggest adventure into the unknown I’d ever taken. I had no idea what lay ahead. And I couldn’t have been more excited.

I know in this time of economic uncertainty that anyone excited about losing a job must be considered a mental health risk. Well if I’m honest in my case it was the exact opposite. Leaving Meteor was the best thing I could ever do for my sanity.

I’ve spoken before about how I was stressed by the job of Fraud Analyst and how it was genuinely affecting my health but I’m not sure if that paints a full and fair picture. Its not that the job itself was particularly stressful on its own. My performance in the role wasn’t good enough really. This was mostly due to not liking the job in any way.

If I was getting any joy from the job I probably would have worked harder. The work I did would possibly have been better. I would not have made the same basic mistakes over and over again. But I didn’t. This led me down the road to what is known as the ‘Disciplinary Process.’

You’ve all heard of it I’m sure. You sit down and discuss how ‘we’ can work on ‘our’ issues. If that isn’t successful you then have things like ‘Training Programmes.’ This is followed by warnings of the verbal and written nature.

If I had been honest, with myself and with my boss, when we were discussing ‘my issues’ I would have said I hate this job and left there and then. That, however, is not really a practical move. Everyone hates their job, right? No one walks away from a very decent job and decent package because they don’t like it. You suck it up, right?

And that’s what I tried to do. I ended up creating cycle of misery that was constantly perpetuating. I’d hate the job so I’d make a mistake so I’d hate the job so I’d make a mistake so I’d….you get the idea.
Have you ever rang in sick just because you know you made a mistake? It doesn’t make the mistake go away. It just delays having to deal with it. This I know from experience.

Without going into too much detail, one of my mistakes got so out of hand that it was the focus of a report by the RTE news programme Primetime. A call-back to a customer, something very simple, that I didn’t do got escalated to the point where it was on national TV. I didn’t call him back because he wasn’t listening to me anyway so I said fuck him.

Not great customer service I know but the results did seem a little exaggerated. Imagine having your boss call you to a meeting and say you messed up on this and by the way the country’s broadcasters are going to be covering it. That’s a lot of pressure. That was the straw before the straw that broke the camels back.

To be honest I can’t even remember what the actual final nail was. All I remember was I was on a weeks holiday away from it and recharging my batteries for one more push at being a dedicated, diligent and committed Fraud Analyst. On the Friday before I was due to start back I got a phone call from one of my colleagues. Just giving me a heads up, something I was supposed to do had gone awry.

A whole week off of relaxing and gearing myself up for once more into breech, gone. Out the window. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was dreading Monday and was fully expecting that I would go in on Monday morning and be fired. What happened next was an unexpected piece of fortune

Not wanting to endure the whole rigmarole that goes along with these disciplinary meetings I went in ready to end it all. Like a Samurai about to perform Seppuku I explained I knew what had happened and I knew what the repercussions would be. I asked them to make it quick as I wanted to get it over with as I was tired of it all and if it wasn’t for the fact that I couldn’t sign on the dole I would quit right now.

This apparently was some secret magic formula. The powers that be went from being my (self-perceived) worst enemies to being the people who were happy to help me set up what was to become my new life. A package was agreed and I would be ending my working relationship with Meteor by mutual agreement. MUTUAL AGREEMENT. Just like Martin O’Neill.

I finished up two days later. They were keen not to drag it out. In fairness if I was slacking off when I was trying to keep my job what would I be like when I knew I was going.

On my final day I had an exit meeting with my manager. For the first time ever I was able to just be honest about my feelings for the job. It was really liberating.

I do need to make one thing clear. Meteor Mobile Communications is a great company to work for (or they were most of the time I was there.) I have no bad blood against them or my managers who were doing their job when I wasn’t doing mine. I was just not meant to that job. Since then I think I’ve figured out that I’m not cut out for office work in general. I think Meteor bore the brunt of my brain and spirit rebelling against 8 years in an air conditioned, neon lit purgatory.

When I left the exit meeting my colleagues were waiting with cake and biscuits to say goodbye. It was really nice. They didn’t really know the circumstances of my leaving and as we sat around and chatted about what I was going to do it began to feel more and more that not only was it the right decision but it felt like it was my decision.

One colleague asked if I was going to miss them. I the time I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to offend anyone. As people I knew I would miss some of them but I wouldn’t miss going into that office to see them everyday. If I were to see any of them in the outside world I’d be delighted.

So once the cake and biscuit was gone and the goodbyes were said, I was escorted from the building. A standard procedure but it still felt funny. I didn’t mind though. They could have had an armed response unit throw me out the door and I’d still be delighted. I got in my car and drove into the afternoon sun having chosen Ghost Town by the Specials as the song to play as I left the Meteor car park for the last time.

Of course it can be argued that with hindsight it’s easy to say it was the best thing to ever happen to me. But even then, as soon as I realised I was free, I knew ‘it’ would work out for me. Whatever ‘it’ was. I had no idea what I wanted to do, or where I could do it. I just knew I’d be happy.

And I am. I work part time to pay the bills. I do some voluntary work which is incredibly rewarding and I have the time to pursue a dream of being a writer. I mean that’s what I’ve always wanted to be. I remember being child with the whole world in front of him. Then a teenager with hopes, not twisted by years of working a spirit sapping low reward jobs. First he wanted to be Indiana Jones and then a writer.

I don’t recall him ever wanting to be a Fraud Analyst.

Tunage

So is anyone going to Electric Picnic? I am. I can’t wait.

It’s not for everyone I know. Three days living in a tent, sleeping on the ground. Exposed to the elements. Wind and rain a constant threat.

Mud so thick that you can’t even lift your funky wellies with the pictures of dolly mixtures out of it

Then there is the issue hygiene. You are basically living in a field with thousands of strange people. The queues for the showers are least an hour wait, so most people don’t bother. And I won’t even start on the dubious bathrooms.

So I can appreciate the reluctance of some people to give up their luxuries for a weekend and slum it in the middle of the Irish countryside but have you considered all the things you’re missing out. The camaraderie with 33,500 people who are all there for a good time. The experience of sitting in the middle of a forest at 4a.m chatting to some guy you’ve never met before about how his hand is made of chocolate cake.

There is comedy, movies, spoken word. You can see some stuff ‘ as gailge’ and I think this year there is a cookery stage. What more could you ask for. Oh I almost forgot. The Music.

Really that’s why everyone is there. The Music. And who can blame them. Music is a great unifier. People from all walks of life sharing a musical moment are truly a beautiful thing. Music has the power to inspire. It is emotive and provocative. All the best music should make you feel….something.

There is a scene in Father Ted where Ted manages to turn the life of young Father Kevin (played by Tommy Tiernan) with the power of music. Kevin goes from experiencing ’ the dark night of the soul’ to a new found happiness with the help of one of the all time Funk classics.

That is the thing that makes me most appreciative of music. The ability to change ones demeanour and outlook on life with the power of a simple three minute pop song. The way you can go from fed up, stressed and hung-over, to dancing around the room with just the first couple of bars of a tune. It doesn’t matter what type of song it is really.

I was going through my computer to see what music I have that is guaranteed to make me feel good. I wanted to come up with a play list I could share with you. Initially I had a collection of one hundred, put a smile on my face songs. Far too many for the purposes of this blog.

So I set about reducing that number to something more manageable. I tried to come up with more specific criteria for my mix.

The first thing I did was get rid of songs that made me smile just because of the name. I’m a grown up, I should have good reasons for liking a song. Out went Sexy Coffee Pot by Tony Alvoin and the Belairs. That was shortly followed by Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls. What can I say…I’m a grown up but I never said I was mature.

Next went the songs that I might be embarrassed for my friends and readers to know about. Songs I know I shouldn’t like but I’ll be darned if I can’t help bobbing my head and singing along when they are played. Goodbye Take That- Shine, Gwen Stefani- Hollaback Girl and Avril Lavigne- Complicated (I just really like singing along to that song for some reason.)

Then it was a case of wading through, arguing, and counter arguing. Justifying why each song was there and why each one deserved to be in the top 20. In the end I came up with a list some thing like this.

Ob La Di Ob La Da- The Beatles I know what your thinking. Of all the great songs The Fab Four produced why go with the Sesame Street one? Firstly you have to remember its songs that make me happy not songs that I necessarily think are the best. I could write a whole other piece on The Saddest or Angriest Songs, but I’m doing joy this week.

Secondly, when I was in primary school, one of the songs we learned was ‘When I’m 64’ by The Beatles. After that I was really taken with their songs that told a little story. Lennon and McCartney have always been able to capture little slices of life usually with great humour. This one is one of my favourites.

One Day Like This- Elbow. This is a fantastic anthem. Something to get you out of your seat, throwing your arms in air, embracing the day and shouting ‘Come on world.’ It’s inspiring and stirring. Just a really good song.

I also like the fact that Elbow have finally started to get the recognition they deserve after years of plugging away as a some what of a cult band. In a time when manufactured pop tripe is more rampant and overgrown than ever, it’s good to see real musicians getting their due.

Ooh La La- Goldfrapp. Silly words with a catchy tune. Sometimes that’s all you need. Impossible not to sing along with or dance to.

Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick- Ian Dury and the Blockheads. This reminds me of my dad. I remember him singing this when I was younger and thinking it was fantastic. I don’t give my Dad a lot of props on this blog. So this is a dedication to Brendan.

Valerie- Mark Ronson feat. Amy Winehouse. I really like Amy Winehouse. She is a disaster obviously but she has a fantastic voice and her songs have real soul to them. This is not one of her songs. It is a great sing along tune though and it reminds me of a really fun Mark Ronson gig I went to with one of my favourite people in the world.

Let’s Get it On- Marvin Gaye. I would never intentionally put this song on in an effort to woo or seduce a woman. I do however have a tendency to play all my music on random. Which has once or twice in the past led to this Motown classic coming on at an inappropriate moment?

It’s hard to take anything seriously with this playing in the background. Its either so cheesy its sexy or so sexy its cheesy And while I should be mortified by the idea of my lady friend laughing out loud just as I’m to ‘make my move,’ so to speak, it is a memory I hold dear. She knows who she is.

July- Mundy. This song also has leads to strong memories of a lady from my past. No story, I just though it had to go in here.

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover- Paul Simon. This song about a man who just can’t stump up the courage to leave a flailing relationship always makes me smile. Despite his millions and millions of albums sold, sell out concerts worldwide and longevity of career which has to be at least 50 years now, I just don’t think Paul Simon gets all the credit he deserves.

Hey yea! - Outkast. I love Outkast. If I was so inclined I would suggest they mix Dope Rhymes with Phat Beats. Thankfully I’m that way inclined. I will however say there infectious rap-RnB-pop sensibilities do make me want to ‘shake it like a Polaroid picture’ as they suggested in this, their Magnus Opus.

Peaches- The Presidents of the United States of America. The year is 1997. In a damp, dark house on Yellow Road, Co Waterford, three students survive on what can only be described as a ‘pot luck’ diet and a love of IndiePop and Rock music. Peaches represents a time when I was really getting into music. It’s fast, loud, hectic and funny. It sparks fond memories of good times spent with great friends. For the same reasons I’m also selecting- Hobo Humping Slobo Babe- Whale. I loved that video, girl with braces…weirdly sexy.

Ebeneezer Goode- The Shamen. This song with the subliminal message was released when I was secondary school. Everyone in my class thought it was clever and funny because essentially it was promoting ecstasy and it got to Number one in the charts. I’ve never taken ecstasy but I can appreciate a subversive little ditty.

I also remember singing it in the van driven by one of the Christian Brothers on the way back from a football match. And finally the clincher, the video starred Jerry Sadowitz who was the most controversial comedian of the time and someone who I thought was pretty cool.

Darling Nikki- Prince. I had to have a Prince song obviously. It was hard to settle on just one. I think I went for Darling Nikki because I can remember tittering the first time I heard it. Prince at his overtly sexual best.

Common People- Pulp. I think Jarvis Cocker is brilliant. He’s cool, funny, and urbane. If I ever have a dog I’m going to call him Jarvis. I probably wouldn’t call him Damon because Damon Albarn is a bit of a tosser. That doesn’t stop me including Parklife- Blur in the list though.

Back when it was important I was more Oasis than Blur. As time has shown, I got that one wrong. Parklife and Common People are two of the biggest songs from the ‘Britpop’ era. They both, for me anyway, have stood the test time as witty little pop songs, with funny imaginative videos and a certain feelgood 'Je ne sais quoi'.

The Rest of the list I have decided to hand over to Stevie Wonder. Believe me when I tell you, nothing is ever bad when your listening to Stevie.

I could have tried to choose one song of his. I could have picked ‘As’ ahead of ‘Living for the City’ or ‘Isn’t She Lovely’ before Master Blaster(Jammin.) I could have even picked ‘Sir Duke’ before ‘Superstition’ but then what about ‘I Believe When I Fall in Love’ or ‘I wish’ or….you get the idea.

I have endured the most horrendous days in work, hung-over to hell, tired, smelly and cranky. I was able to get through it all with the help of Mr Wonder. Plug in your earphones, close your eyes and shut out the world.

Don’t you worry about a thing because with Stevie to look after you, everything is going to be alright. Uptight. Out of sight even. So there you go. A list of songs that make me happy.

If you want to see the whole list of 100 you can find them here. Just don’t ask me to justify some of them. Maybe you’ll do your own list. It’s only fair. I’ve shown you mine…now show me yours.

Altruism

As part of a much improved week, last week I had a meeting. I think in my head I thought of it as interview. I researched. I prepared. I thought about what I should wear. I even got a haircut. When I get there it was definitely not an interview. It was a very friendly chat about my wanting to do some volunteer work.

I was meeting with a lovely woman called Jean who is the Volunteer coordinator for a group called Fighting Words. It was founded by Roddy Doyle and is a centre which encourages kids to explore creative writing as a means of expressing themselves and finding their individuality. As I said a couple of weeks ago writing is something which I felt helped me find my own voice when I was younger so this seemed like a good opportunity to give some of that back. It also sounds like a lot of fun.

The way it works is that classes of kids come in and they workshop the first part of a story. They then go off and individually write an ending for that story. At the end of the session they are presented with a book of their story, including illustrations drawn by artists and with their photo on the back. Like a real book.

Sounds pretty cool to me. So I volunteered to help out. I’m not sure exactly what I’ll be doing just yet. Probably just helping with spelling or something. The way I look at it, I’ve got plenty of time on my hand and if there is some way I can help some one else find a passion for writing then I’m there. I forgot mine for long enough that I feel I owe it something.

This is the latest of my volunteering efforts. For someone who has over the years tended to be a bit self centred and dismissive of others good deeds it’s a bit of a change. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not volunteering because I’m a wonderful human being. I have time on my hands and get easily bored. Its like Joey in Friends (or was it Immanuel Kant) said. There is no such thing as a truly selfless act.

I recently volunteered to help out at the Jameson Dublin Film Festival. When I went to meet with them it was a very different experience to my Fighting Words meeting. It was a Saturday morning in the Savoy Cinema. There was between 15 and 20 people there for the same meeting. Everyone standing around the foyer of the cinema, no one really sure what was going on. Was this the right place to be? It was a very strange experience. Looking around trying to make some kind of connection with someone who knew what was happening.

It was a very timid crowd. Maybe it was because of the type of event it was? It attracted shy movie geeks who didn’t really know how to interact with strangers? I was desperate to just go up and start chatting to people. I just wanted to shout out “Talk to me, I’m funny.” But it looked like I might have scared them.

When finally we were shepherded into screen 2 to meet the volunteer co-ordinator the isolation continued as everyone point blank refused to sit beside anyone else. A regulation gap of one empty seat between each person appeared. I couldn’t do it. It just seemed too sad. So ignoring the protocol set out by my fellow free time givers I sat down beside the person who had gone ahead of me. She looked at me like I had two heads. I smiled and made some remark. Some quip that in my head sounded like a hilarious ice breaker. Judging by the look on her face it made me sound like a sex offender.

I looked to my right to see if anyone had followed my lead and decided that we were, in fact, all going to be working together and that there was no need to be shy. They hadn’t. In fact they too seemed to take my boldness as some sort of perversion and doubled the normal space that should be between us.

As I sat through the coordinators pompous and bloated chat about how he does this for the festival and the festival is great because he works for it and the festival changed cinema in Ireland because he has been volunteering for 8 years I started to question my motives. Then the supercilious clown started to evangelize Korean cinema and derided anyone who was going to go see Shutter Island during the festival.

I knew I only wanted to go see a few free movies. Between already being a pariah with co-volunteers and the coordinator being a complete tool I was pretty sure that this endeavour wasn’t for me. Normally I wouldn’t like to waste anyone’s time. But for this guy I’d make an exception.

As it turns out, my kind offer to help out was declined (I just sound bitter now.) Apparently, in what I guess is a sign of the times, they had over 400 applications for just under 200 positions. With unemployment on the rise, people have more time on their hands. And who wouldn’t want a free ticket to see Alice in Wonderland 3-D. (Me actually, I hate Tim Burton.)

Of course my recent dalliances with altruism started in October. I was in need of a holiday after escaping the evil clutches of Fraud Analysis. Money was tight so I needed to find something that would be cheap and interesting. So in situations like that I always resort to my friend and yours. Google. I entered the terms “volunteering” and “Europe” it brought be back a list of things and one of the options on that list was Pueblo Ingles.

Pueblo Ingles (or English Village to give it its literal translation) is a programme run in various locations around Spain, where Spanish people can go to improve their English. The programme is an intense experience for them as they are totally immersed for 8 days in the English language. From the moment they arrive for breakfast at 9 til bed time they have to speak English. The volunteers are all native English speakers and the only real skill they need is to be able to talk…a lot.

For me it was an amazing experience. Firstly the location was amazing. In a beautiful valley surrounded on all sides by mountains. It made getting mobile phone coverage impossible, which was fantastic. It completely took you out of the real world and there was only you and your Pueblo Ingles compatriots for the week.

The people I met were amazing. The Spanish people were so open and warm. For them it seemed a big deal that people would come and help them with their English without any monetary reward. They were very willing to talk about themselves and their culture in a foreign language. It must have been incredibly difficult for them.

They ‘Anglos’ or English speakers were fantastic too. There seemed to be a real sense of appreciation for the opportunity we had. Everyone made the utmost effort to helpful with the Spanish. It was also an opportunity for me to meet and chat to some people who I wouldn’t necessarily allow myself to get to know.

While it all sounds lovely it wasn’t all chats and tea. By the end of the week I found myself really tired of the sound of my own voice. As someone who enjoys his own company and is quite happy to spend hours (days sometimes) not talking to anyone it was hard to give up that liberty. Literally from dawn to dusk you are chatting and being social. Sometimes its hard to listen to someone who you know understands but can’t put their thoughts into words.

But its worth it. It is an amazing experience. One I hope to repeat again in May. I really can’t wait. I get to sample again the Spanish lifestyle which I’m much more suited to (siestas…greatest invention ever) It gives me a chance to meet and make new friends. And hopefully I will see some of my friends from my previous programme.

There really is a lot to be said for volunteering. It is a great way to kill time. You sometimes get free stuff (food, t-shirts). You feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You get to meet some good people.

Oh and other people get some benefit too. What’s not to like?

For those of you wondering about my to do list from last week I’m proud to report that I did all bar one of the items on the list. I wrote to the author Mike Gayle and he wrote back to me. He confirmed what I suspected from his book and website and is a really cool bloke. He also looked at my blog…which made me feel all warm and fuzzy at first. Then disappointed because it was my negative effort. Oh well. Onwards and upwards. I’m going to email some more authors and see if I can’t get them to have a look…sure why not. Now…who’s first?

Twelve Inch

How much ‘Stuff’ do you own? If you had to move house tomorrow how long would it take you to pack? How many car/van loads would it take? How many storage containers or cardboard boxes or black bags would it take for you transport your life from one place to another.

For anyone who has seen the latest Jason Reitman movie, Up in the Air, starring George Clooney you may already know the answer to these questions. You’ve probably thought about it just recently. In the movie Clooney’s character Ryan Bingham is a sometime motivational speaker who likens a rucksack to life and the stuff we pack into life to baggage. He encourages his audience to think about all they own. And all the people they know.

He beseeches to those in attendance, that the less they have to pack into their rucksack, the easier life is.
Of course it’s a movie, and that’s a bit bleak for Little Tommy Popcorn. And while the ending is somewhat ambiguous, I think its clear that Bingham comes to realise that life is more important than travelling light and keeping it simple. We get from life what we put into it and sometimes all we have to carry are our happy memories…or something like that.

And that’s great. We do need to search out happiness and we only get back what we are willing to put into it. Our connections and relationships with those around are what define us.

That said, there is a case to be made about the amount of clutter we bring into our lives.

Have you figured out how long it would take to pack your stuff yet?

I have moved a lot. If I exclude the first two times I tried to move out but quickly made my way back to buxom of the family home, I have moved seven and a half times. (I’ll get to the half in a minute). I have also helped friends move on multiple occasions. And let me tell you, in case you didn’t know, it’s a giant pain in the bottom.

The amount of times I have lumped boxes up and down stairs would but Jack, Jill and the Grand ol Duke of York’s ten thousand men to shame. Piles of books, cds, DVDs, stereo speakers, black sacks of pornography (not mine, I swear) have all at one stage been moved into or out of mine or friends houses.

And I have to be honest. It all seems a little pointless to me now. All that sweat and energy, wasted. Not because helping out a friend or moving house was pointless. But all that stuff. It just weighs us down.


I recently moved for the 7th and half time. And by that I mean I moved room in the same house. Not necessarily as big a deal as moving house, but it still meant moving all my stuff from my first floor up to the 2nd floor attic conversion. It’s still a flight of stairs. I was not looking forward to it.

When you house share with relative strangers, you tend to fit most of your stuff into your room. Of course there are the communal areas but the majority of stuff you don’t want to get mixed in with others or lost in a pile you keep in your own space.


I’ve tended to need more personal space because over the years I have hoarded a lot of stuff. 300 dvds 300 cads, around 200 or so books. On top of that I also have storage to hold all these nick knacks. I have so many pieces of crappy pine flat pack furniture that I have picked up in Argos, that it looks like Richard E Grant and Julia Sawalha are my interior designers.


Then there is the problem that I am loathe to throw anything away. I’ve never done it. I’m always able to justify that I might need it at some stage. That nuts and bolts statue of a stick figure couple of having sex over a garden fence? A birthday gift from Donal and Martina ( you’d imagine Donal was the dominant voice in that purchase, that said Martina was the soul buyer of the penguin posing pouch…hmmm ). Who knows when that will come in handy. The WWE Dudley Boyz t-shirt? I could wear it painting…or gardening.

Enough. When do I ever paint or garden. I have to draw the line. I have too much stuff which is essentially just useless shit. And I don’t mean to offend anyone who bought me these really nice gifts. I really appreciate them. But what I appreciate more is that you thought enough of me to buy if for me. In this case…it really is the thought that counts.

So that’s it. The De Clutter starts here and now.

CD‘s? Gone. My music listening these days is done through Windows Media Player or my MP3 player in the car. If I buy a CD these days I open it once, pop it in my laptops disc drive and rip. Boxed up and stored in the attic, so if anyone wants some quality music come take a look.

DVDs? Some people have collections of DVDs and have no interest in movies. I’m not one of those people. Movies are something that are very important to me but they are just taking up too much John Space. So. Lets reduce the amount of space they take. All I really need is the Disc. So lets file the disc in those disc storage cases that people use for bringing just the disc in their car or wherever.

The boxes I just advertised for free on boards and people with more space and a better use for them took them away. So right there I have gone from eight shelves of DVD’s to two.

Books? Half of them I’ve no interest in ever reading , and frankly are kind of embarrassing, (where did I get Sushi for Beginners by Marian Keyes?) The local Scout Hall does a book drive for a sale of work every month so they get all the literature (and I use that word very loosely in some cases) that I now no longer want

Clothes? No one needs 79 tee shirts. I live in Ireland for Christ sake. Its rare that I don’t need gloves never mind have the luxury of going sleeveless. And no one should have clothes that are older than his now teenage brother. Clothing recycling bin, here I come.

And I have to say. I feels great. I’m not surrounded by so much clutter. I think sometimes people are stressed by the weight of the things they have and the things they own and want to own. And if you are carrying a weight and you get rid of some of the burden… it feels good.

I don’t to come over all preachy and anti materialism. That’s not who I am…yet. But I could see myself becoming that guy one day. I feel liberated by having less stuff. Simple, clutter free living is the way forward for me.

Jayhaitch in Review 2009

I really like this time of year. Sleighbells ringing, snow is falling and you better watch out you better not cry. Yes its Christmas and tis the season to be jolly. Everyone is generally in a bit of a better mood. Whether they are addled by the party season or goodwill to all men is debatable. But everyone likes Christmas. Including grumpy old J.H.

And one of the reasons I love Christmas is because its near the end of the year. And every magazine, newspaper, television show and soapbox pontificator does a review of the best and worst of the year. And in the tradition of such I want to do mine.

You can, however, relax. I’m not going to do a best of movies or music or cups of coffee that I’ve sampled. I’m going to a top ten things of all things John Holohan in 2009. (That might include some movies or music but only in a good way).

So here it is. In no particular order. Jay Haitch’s 2009 in review. If you read it and you like it, maybe you’ll do your own.

10:Therapy

This time last year I was a wreck. My blood pressure was of the charts. I was constantly having headaches. I was stressed out by work. I was depressed. I went to my G.P. and she recommended some counselling sessions. I’m not sure of your take on counselling but here was mine. Is there a stigma? Surely its just for neurotic Americans? Do I really need it? What will I get from it?

The answer to these questions are; the stigma is only in your head. I was amazed how good and supportive my friends were. I did choose to only tell my closest friends (til now) and as far as anyone else having a problem or a preconception with it…I guess its like every other prejudice. Who really gives a shit what small minded people think.

No its not just for Woody Allen types. There isn’t a single person in the world who wouldn’t benefit from it at one stage in their life. Anyone who says this isn’t true…well…they need therapy .

Yes I needed it. The stress I was feeling with work was born out of my frustration with many other aspects of my life. My Family, my love life, work, moving house 7 times in 8 years and a general sense of arrrgggghhh all led to my feelings of frustration, anger, helplessness, self-loathing (that might be a bit strong…but I definitely didn’t like myself.)

What I got from it was a bit of understanding. An ability to stand up and take responsibility for how my life goes. For the most part I control what I take from the great journey that is existence. I now see how I can deal with any problems that come up and there is no need for me to let it all build up and there is no need to fear anything. Life happens. I can cope.

I’ve been seeing my counsellor Adeela since January. Initially weekly, then fortnightly and then Monthly. This Saturday I will have my last scheduled session with her. Does that mean I’m ‘sane again? I’m not sure I was ever really ‘crazy’ but whatever it means, it’s a good feeling.


9:Driving

One of the first things I got out of counselling was Adeela challenged me to complete something. Start something and see it through to the end. As it happened, I had just bought Lisa’s car ‘Doreen’ and was planning to learn to drive. So I did.

Initially it was the single most traumatic experience I have ever had. Bumps and scrapes were bountiful and the sound of other drivers horns is something I still hear sometimes in the darkness. But I persevered. It is an incredibly liberating thing and I love the fact that I can do it. Even if I am 33 and most people learn when they are 15. Don’t burst my bubble man.



8: Movies

I’ve been without full time work for the last couple of months. So I’ve been taking full advantage of my Cineworld Multipass. For €19.99 a month I can go to as many movies as I like. So I’ve seen a lot of movies, I probably could do a Top 10 of the year or whatever. I won’t though. What I will say is that I’ve seen two movies this year that I know I will watch again and again.

500 days of Sumer is just my kinda movie. It is a non traditional love story where the boy doesn’t get the girl. I love that. Annie Hall, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and now this. Also it has a pretty cool soundtrack

Then there is A Serious Man. I only saw it yesterday so maybe my ‘gra’ for it is because it fresh in my mind. To be honest, I think its just because its brilliant. Its funny. It has pathos. It deals with physics and religion. It highlights a lot of life’s futilities and pointlessness. Its got some fantastic performances. It has immediately challenged Lebowski and Barton Fink as my favorite Cohen Brother movie.


7: Pueblo Ingles

In October, I spent 8 days on an English speaking programme in Spain. The idea was I volunteered my time to spend time with some Spanish people and the Spanish people could only speak English for that time. For 8 DAYS. Imagine spending that much time speaking a language that isn’t your first with a bunch of strangers, miles away from your family and friends. No phone, limited internet access and a real sense of WTF? (or the Spanish equivalent)

Despite the daunting nature of the course the people who I met there are some of the warmest, most open people that I have ever met. Spanish and Anglos (English speakers) alike.

To have the opportunity to meet and get to know people who I generally wouldn’t have had the chance to is truly one of the best moments of my life.

6: Music

I did movies so I guess I should do some music from the year too. I think my favourite of the year has to be Lungs by Florence and the Machine. It has a real sense of ‘ get up’ about it. I can’t imagine sitting passively listening to it. Its got some great tunes, she’s a bit bonkers (always a plus) and its hard to think of anything bad about it. I’m not a music critic, I just like this album.


5: Growing a Beard

My Beard is Awesome. Beards are Awesome. If you don’t have a beard (and are a man) then shame on you. BEARDS RULE!!!!

4: My Sister Had a Baby

His name is Sam. He’s very cute. My baby sister is all grown up. She’s 9 years younger than me, she is my only sister. She has a beautiful family and I’m very proud of her. I told her this. That’s not something that comes easy in our family. But I told her. And its something I’m really glad I did. I should say I was very drunk at the time. But she knew I meant it.

3: Books.

Books are another thing that is very important to me. I haven’t read as much as I’d like now that I’m driving. But the best book I read this year was an old one. Its called Miramar by an Egyptian writer called Naguib Mahfouz. It is set in a hostel in Egypt in the 1960’s. It looks at a series of events from the different perspectives of some of its inhabitants and how they revolve around a beautiful peasant girl.

It was borrowed from a friend who really recommended it. Find it and Read it.
Oh and the Watchmen graphic novel was much better than the movie


2: Reassessing What is important in Life

Maybe reassessing is the wrong word. For the most part I’m not sure I ever knew what was important in life. I think I have a better handle on it now.

I don’t need things. I don’t need 27 different t shirts. Books, cd’s and dvd’s have been a huge part in my life. But I don’t need them, I can get them cheaper online and don’t need the physical thing. I’ve a very basic TV and laptop. I don’t need the latest gadgets and gismos.

I can help people. I don’t necessarily have many qualifications or skills. But I can help others by just giving of my time. People will always need help. I’m going to try and be available as much as possible.

My family are important to me. I’ve always been very proud of my independence. I don’t visit my family often. I’m not particularly close to them. But they are my family and I realise now what they have done for me. They have played an enormous part of shaping me and for that I’m eternally grateful.

I want my own family. That’s what life is all about. We are here to procreate. I guess the first step to that is finding a partner. Leave it with me. I’ll get back to you in 2010.


1: Leaving Meteor.

I know I said it wasn’t in any particular order. But this is definitely number 1. That job was suffocating me as a person. I’m not saying it was the companies fault. But while I was there I didn’t allow myself to develop and I just stunted. Without doubt the best thing I ever did.

Its was just a job. But it defined me. And now, I will be the main factor in defining me.

I know there was some mystery surrounding why I left so quickly so let me unveil my secret. Let me use the pirate metaphor. Did I jump, or was I pushed. Well I jumped. Before I was pushed. However I did manage to grab on to some of the treasure so that I could live comfortably on the secret island for a bit.


Blimey that was a lot longer than I expected. I doubt anyone’s read it all. But if you did, here is another little bit

Other things I’ve enjoyed this year

The Sopranos - never saw it til this year. Possibly the greatest piece of artistic endeavour for the last 40-50 years
Veronica Mars- Never saw it til this year.
House - Never saw it til this year.
Taking Woodstock - Very enjoyable movie
Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap. My favorite song of the last few months
Into the Wild - Only saw it this year
Gold Rapp in Tripod…or was that last year.
John and Lisa’s day of fun.
Working in Muji. Retail is fun.


Things I didn’t enjoy
Jedward
Lisa leaving Ireland
Football….raising my hopes and dashing them, constantly
Falling out with people (probably for the best but its not nice when its happening)
The Watchmen movie

So I’m kinda going into 2010 with a happy outlook on life and with no bad feeling towards anyone. I hope your doing the same????