Synopsis

This time last year I started to write a book. Next week I'm submitting it for the first time to some people who might do something with it. I've to give them a couple of chapters and a synopsis. Below is that synopsis (give or take 16 words). If anyone has any comments or feedback I'd love it the next few days.



Dominic ‘Bucky’ Buckingham has a headache. He’s had it for a few months now. The doctors say he is ‘stressed.’ And who can blame him; he is stuck in a job he hates at a time when he is ‘lucky to have a job,’ saddled with a mortgage for an apartment he never really wanted and is a constant source of disappointment to women in his life. This is not where he imagined he would be at 33 years of age.

Constantly being told what to do by domineering women, his mother, girlfriend, boss, even his therapist, Bucky wonders if he’ll ever have control of his balls long enough to stand up for himself.

When Re-port International announces widespread redundancies his colleagues are justifiably panicking but Bucky can’t help but wonder if it’s a good thing. He hates his job, the boss, the customers, even the cleaning lady. But can he convince his girlfriend Hannah that it’s for the best.

Hannah is the woman who he is prepared to spend the rest of his life with but sometimes he is not sure what kind of life that will be. On a holiday with Hannah in Gran Canaria he starts to believe he is finally getting to grips with his relationship and it starts to make more sense to him.

It’s only following his trip to mainland Spain where he spends time with a group of open minded Spaniards and a free spirited American call Mirabelle that he starts to see the power of positive people and question if the path he’s expected to take is the right one for him.

A humorous character piece, Status Update focuses on Bucky’s journey from pod employee of Re-Port International to proprietor of a market stall selling bespoke crockery. Along the way we get insights into the relationships that have formed and, for the time being at least, frustrate him.

Justification

Did I tell you guys I’d written a novel? I’m sure I have, its called Status Update, contemporary humorous fiction with semi autobiographical undertones. I’ve been coasting off the back of finishing the first draft of a novel ever since I completed it in November. People ask what I do, and I would tell them, based on the fact that I managed to put sixty thousand words in cohesive order, that I was writer. What I actually am is a bit of a fraud.

Written as part of NaNoWrMo the idea was that I would take December off to recharge my batteries and start a second draft in January of this year. That would be ready by March and I could then begin to look at publishers and agents to gauge their interest and then be finishing up a third draft round about now.

The only part of that paragraph that actually happened was I took December off and I have yet to do anything productive to get back to work on ‘Status Update.’ Focus has never been one of my strong points and distraction is something I run to with open arms and a welcoming glass of wine.

In fairness, I have written some stuff. I did some work on a possible TV series with a writing partner but that got quite distracting so I pulled out. I’ve also written a few bits of short stories and I mean bits, I’m not sure any of them are finished. And I’ve got this blog, which basically allows me to lie to my own face every time I trim my beard.

As long as I dedicate myself to write one of these rambling bouts of candy floss once a week I can justify to myself that I’m a writer.
“What are you working on at the moment?” someone who is kind enough to feign an interest might ask. To which I might respond:
“Oh, it’s a think piece on why moustache wax has replaced peoples need for organised religion.”

Or some bullshit like that.

The problem is I really like being a writer; it is by far preferable to being a fraud analyst or a part time Japanese Lifestyle salesman, so it is time to get the finger out. Chatting to a friend about the original draft process, she reminded me that I used this blog as something of a motivational tool. My weekly updates would let the reader know the novels progress and I could use that as a bit of push. I didn’t want to let you guys down. If I ever do get the book published you guys are the most likely to buy it.

So here is the challenge. On the 21st of September I am due to fly out to Madrid for another Pueblo Ingles programme. By the time that comes around, if I do not have a second, bigger, better draft of ‘Status Update,’ when I return I shall stop referring to myself as a writer. I’ll hang up my biro and get a job in a call centre. I’ll shave off my beard and listen to a Script album.

If you guys could help I would really appreciate it. If you see me out in a social situation, ask what the word count is at. Question how the character development of Hannah Bracewell is going. Tell me to go home and do some fucking work.

I’ll check in again next week and let you know how it’s getting on. The plan is to have 10000 words done by this time next week. I haven’t picked a great week to begin the challenge. I’m helping out with a comedy writing workshop in Fighting Words so it’s a pretty busy week.

Excuses, excuses.

Scrivener

How’s everybody’s All Hallows eve treating them. Mine currently involves drinking cans of Polish lager and chewing far too many cheap sweets. My teeth are starting to get paranoid that our relationship is coming to an end.

This is just a quick entry to let you know about what’s going to be happening here at Insert Witty Pop Culture Reference Here ( I really wish I picked a better name) for the month of November. There is going to be a slight change in the format due to some interesting projects I’ve got going on.

November, those interested in writing will know, is a very busy month. It is National Novel Writing Month. For anyone who isn’t let me explain. NaNoWriMo as it is down is an annual event where writers from around the world (It started off in just one country and they didn’t want to lose the snappy abbreviation) attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in the calendar month.

This is my first attempt at it. There is no prize as such, other than pride but it seems to be a great motivational tool and a good way to chat to other writers and get advice and feedback on the writing process. I’ve always wanted to write a novel and the whole point of this blog was to build up a discipline to write more. So lets give it a go.

My novel was originally going to be called Daffy Duck and the Intenet Café, but I was worried that people might associate that with the Danny Boyle movie The Beach.(I presume the same character is in the Alex Garland Novel...but I haven't read it.) Then somebody did link them together so I decided to change the title. So far it is called Status Update but that is liable to change.

Hopefully it will be a Hornby-esque tale of a guy struggling to find his place in a grown up world. It sounds semi-autobiographical and to be honest there will be lots of elements of me in the hero including some of the things he does and sees. Hey, they say write what you know.

I don’t know if any of you has tried to write 50, 000 words before but considering it takes me a 2-3 hours to write a standard one of my blogs (about 1500 words.) So its quite intimidating. Editing of the 50, 000 words is discouraged as the idea of the programme is to complete the novel regardless of spelling, grammar or stylistic flow. That can all be checked in December.

Of course this means my normal blog writing schedule will suffer.

But fear not I hope to still be posting here. I plan to use the site as a way to monitor my progress on the novel and keep a kind of diary in my first proper concerted effort at producing a book. This way if you guys want to give me any tips or advice or a kick up the arse you can do it all here. I’d really appreciate it. Of course I could get so swamped that I never get the chance. But it’s a plan anyway

The plan is to do on average 2000 words a day for 6 days a week and then by the end of November Status Update should be complete…that would be awesome. One of the first blogs I did was about how I wanted to be a writer. To finish a draft of a novel I think would be the shine on what has been a good year for me as a new writer.

Also this month, I will be doing a Blog/ Travel writing workshop with award winning writer Theo Dorgan. This should be interesting. I’m not really sure what to expect but hopefully I can take away a couple of things that will help improve my output both here and in general.

There is one more thing happening to me as a writer this month that I will tell you all more about when it is ready. I will say I’m very excited about it I really hope it’s a first step of many for me in making headway in the putting words in sentences business.

Its an hour and 30 minutes before November the 1st. I’m seriously considering getting started as soon as the bells strike midnight. Wish me luck.