Zenith

It is a good job I didn’t resolve on January the first to update here on a more committed basis. So far, it looks like 2012 will have the same random regularity as 2011. That’s not to say it won’t change, in fact I’m planning that it will. I have set myself some goals and targets for the New Year.

So far, this year I haven’t had an alcoholic drink. Its only two weeks but I’m happy with my little achievement. Unfortunately, for that habit at least, I’m going on holiday in a couple of days so that won’t last much longer.

I’ve also set myself some writing objectives that, if anyone is interested, I will keep you up to date with as they happen. In the mean time I just need to get on with it. So let’s do that shall we.

A friend of mine, whose opinion I have some respect for, tells me that my Blog is better when I’m not talking about me. He prefers when I pick a subject and talk about that rather than discuss how my life is going. I’m generally inclined to agree with him, but it could be just that this friend doesn’t like people sharing their lives online. This argument is backed up by his disdain for Facebook.

He hates it, refuses to have it. Well, he did have it for a while but was so abhorred by people ranking themselves and their friends, poking, tagging and all that other nonsense that he got rid of it. I’ve decided I’m going to try and follow suit.

I’m not a hater of Facebook. For a long time I’ve enjoyed its usage. Setting up my account in 2007 to keep in touch with my friends off on their travels I found it an excellent tool. I took advantage of the games and the quizzes as a way to pass the time and when I was trapped in employment hell Facebook was a window to the outside world.

But at this stage I’m a little bored with it. And let me say to my Friends, it’s not you it’s me. Most of the stuff that appears on my newsfeed these days is from organisations, bands or charities or businesses. If it’s not that it’s somebody pointlessly complaining about the state of this or that. As a regular ranter about both I know that this is completely futile and I hate to see intelligent people like yourselves wasting your time.

The thing is, I’m a five year Zuckerberg addict. I’m under no illusion that quitting ‘the book’ is going to be easy. So I’ve started to wean myself away. My status changes are infrequent, especially when compared to the last days of Meteor when I would update twice maybe three times a day. If I do that a week now, it’s a busy one

I have deleted most of my photos. I don’t think there is anything really wrong with sharing your snaps with friends but you have to question the validity of a lot of them. Memories are to be captured not posed. How can you really show the world what a good time you had when you are spending most of your time deleting and retaking that perfect profile pic.

I’ve hidden a lot the stuff I follow. By my reckoning, at this rate I will only have a few updates a day and trick myself into believing that everyone else is kicking the habit. So eventually, in a few months I might be ready to take that final big leap and delete my account. Although it has its uses, I let a lot of people know about my blog through Facebook, so I’ll have to find a way around it.

Some of you are probably thinking if I’m serious why don’t I just delete it now?’ Others might be of the opinion that I won’t be able to quit, that I’m an addict, that I can’t live without Facebook. Well I’ve seen people who quit cold turkey and they just come back worse than ever before. That’s not going to be me. I’m going to do it right.

Flummoxed

Sometimes things go awry, as is their wont, and you just want to shout at someone. Ranting and raving seems like the only logical solution to your problem. A perceived injustice has entered your world and calling someone an incapable, incontinent, ignoramus is the only way to right this wrong. You think it will help. It won’t

You can complain to the guy at the other end of the phone, who is probably on twelve euro an hour all you like. He is no more likely to solve your problem than if you explain it calm and rationally. I know, I used to be him.

I was going to call this week’s blog ‘Frustration’ and complain about how things can go wrong and all you want to do is scream at those responsible and how, essentially, it is ultimately pointless and futile . Then I realised the horrible irony of writing such a diatribe and posting it on the internet. Besides which I got over the thing that was bothering me.

Then I considered writing one called ‘Friends’ and talking about all the talented and interesting people I have the good fortune to know. Like Paul, who despite swanning off around South America like a Shoreditch Che Guevara and making me jealous of his globetrotting, is a good bloke and decent writer. He’s also pretty handy in the editing suite and helped make one couples magic moment even a little more special.

Or about Glen, a guy who I first met more than fifteen years ago (Shit, has it really been that long,) in the drama society in Waterford Regional Technical College as it was at the time. Fast forward to today and he is making a living as an actor/writer and has recently added director to his resume with this intriguing short.



Then I realised if just wrote about my friends work, it would just appear like I am advertising for others and that is not that’s not how we operate here at InsertWittyPopCultureReferenceHere. Its not how we roll.

So I’m kind of stuck. I’ve got some vague half ideas for posts but I nothing concrete. All I do know is that under the Alphabet guidelines that I have set myself is that the title needs to start with the letter F. No I really have no clue what to talk about.

Fuck!!!

Epicurean

One of the most frustrating things about Ireland’s schizophrenic weather is the inability to plan a good barbecue. There are few things better than meat cooked on open coals, accompanied by a cold drink enjoyed outdoors in the sunshine. Unfortunately with our climates proclivity to rain planning such an event can be as rewarding as picking the long shot in the Grand National. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

Quality steaks are the first key ingredient. These should be picked up at a butcher, not prepacked from a supermarket. I recently bought some fine cuts of sirloin from a butcher off Aungier St. He was able to recommend and advise on which type of meat suited my needs, how long the meat had been hung, which farm it came from and the cow’s star sign. Maybe not that one.

Prepped with a rub of olive oil, salt and pepper, it should be cooked on the rare side of medium rare. When cutting into it the meat, you should be greeted with a beautiful pink color. My dad always wants his steak cooked well done. I try to tell him he is missing out.

When the meat is cooked it should be allowed to sit for a bit to let the flavours settle. It should then be enjoyed with a side salad, cold beer or a nice glass of red wine. 60’s and 70’s soul music (Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin, Motown) should be playing in the background to give it the perfect summer feel.

Does that make you feel hungry? Do want to run out the back and spark up the steel drum full of charcoal? Are you lusting for food? If the answer to these questions is yes, well then I’m afraid you may be among the thousands of those afflicted with a food porn addiction.

Food porn is a relatively new phenomena but it has spread quicker than facebook and is more addictive than crack. Around the world people cannot get enough of watching celebrity and amateur chefs as they slice, dice, chop and prepare food on TV. Programmes like Masterchef, Come Dine With Me and Hell’s Kitchen regularly have millions of viewers.

They don’t get any actual fulfilment from these programmes. They see beautiful dishes thrown together and are made to feel that they could have it if they wanted. Exotic food, bringing pleasure to people on the screen and making the viewer salivate and desire. It also gives people unrealistic expectations of what food really is.

Most of the time it’s not real. Just like the threesome with top heavy Swedish supermodels from that link you clicked by ‘accident’ is not real. Nobody actually cooks red mullet soup with toasted almonds and basil, or pheasant leg with rabbit saddle and mustard sauce. It’s usually pork chops and chips or a Goodfellas pizza.

The very concept of a chef as a sex symbol or celebrity is something which, ironically, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Anybody who can think that a foul mouthed arrogant egomaniac such as Gordon Ramsey is attractive clearly needs their head examined and probably has serious daddy issues. They can argue that he is a powerful man in control of a huge empire but he’s still obnoxious.

Anyone who is any doubt that cookery programmes are borderline pornography need look no further than Nigella Lawson. Everything is laced with innuendo and is teased out so seductively that it’s easy to forget she is talking about sticky toffee pudding. Although nothing I can write about Nigella can match this clip.

Dublin played host to the Taste festival this weekend. A gathering of chefs and foodies in the Iveagh Gardens, where people were encouraged to wear their food porn addiction with pride. One of my friends who went said she really wanted to see Gino D’acampo live. He’s a chef. Not a musician or comedian. He’s not even a ventriloquist. You don’t go to see chefs ‘live’ because they cook food they don’t play Smoke on the Water.

The whole event strikes me as being left over from a time when Irish people thought they had money and would happily plonk 90 euro on the table for fancy chips and burgers on a Tuesday night in some restaurant because a spiky haired TV chef stirred a pot of bouillabaisse there once.

Maybe that’s why these programmes are so popular. People can’t afford to dine out so often so there is an increase in dinner parties where the hosts get to pretend they are Jamie Oliver or Hugh Fernley Whittingstall. It’s a cool thing to have your friends over and impress them with your culinary technique.

But you can keep your flash fried goose, sautéed in a unicorns tear (to paraphrase Dylan Moran.) I remember the first time a friend cooked for me. We were both students and the menu was very simple. It was bean and sausage surprise. A bowl of baked beans with two supermarket brand pork sausages sticking out like birthday candles.

The surprise? Hidden in the beans was another sausage.

Wenceslas

“I just got Mam a bamboo vegetable steamer for Xmas. That’s a good present isn’t it?”

I overheard this particular piece of genius at around 3 p.m. last Christmas eve. I was standing at the bus stop and this person was talking on his mobile. He was a grown man so he couldn’t use youth as an excuse for such a preposterous gift.

I looked away to hide a smirk and I realised I wasn’t the only one. The other potential Dublin Bus passengers mirrored my look of bemusement at the ludicrousness of both the statement and the sentiment.

If I were to hand my Mother a kitchen utensil (regardless of whether it was made of a flexible wood or not) on the 25th of December, I’m sure I would left in no doubt that its more than just any thought that counts. There is also the strong possibility that I would be picking bamboo splinters from hair whilst having to clean up the debris.

Don’t get me wrong. I can’t say I find it easy shopping for Christmas gifts and I don’t just mean for my mum. My dad is just as difficult, I have no idea what my brothers are into and when I ask my sister what she would like, she smiles and says ‘I don’t mind.’ However, despite the nigh impossible nature of the task, I managed to complete most of my festive shopping for this year.

I just need to get one or two things for some children of friends and I’m done. It was actually relatively painless. I’m not overly enamoured with my selection, but faced with the budgetary constraints of a part time shop assistant, I did OK.

I went mostly with DVD’s, CD’s and books as token ideas. Stuff I know the recipient would like but I would have preferred to have given more personal gifts that required a bit more effort than just running to Tower Records and queuing.

Time was a problem. I’ve never been busier in the run up to Christmas. Writing books, working in Muji, meeting friends who I neglected to write books, going to gigs. All this has taken a toll on my seasonal Santa sponsored sharing.

Basically what I’m trying to say is, I’m really sorry. I didn’t get you anything this year.

That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten you. Oh no. I didn’t have time to get you all individual presents, but I did have time to speak to one guy for whom time isn’t an issue.

Dear Santa

Hi, how’s it going. Remember me. It’s Jayhaitch from Crumlin. You brought me the Casio keyboard in 87. It was great thanks a million…I really should have taken lessons, but I was always just happy to plink and plonk the keys. I don’t want you think I didn’t appreciate it.

I know I’m not supposed to be writing to you anymore. As an adult I’m supposed to pretend you don’t exist so that you concentrate on the younger kids.

That’s cool, I can dig that. But here’s the thing. I have actually been super good this year; I’ve cut back on the booze. I’m always positive and try to help people. I don't talk about people behind their back. Seriously….I’ve been a relative saint this year.

And it’s not even that I’m looking for gifts for myself. Honestly I’m fine Santa, I don’t need anything. But life has been super hectic recently and I haven’t had a chance to get anything for my friends. So I was wondering if you could help me out. Why don’t I give you my list and see what you can do. I don’t expect miracles or anything.

They are all great people. Some of them have young families or are having kids in the New Year. If you could see your way to making sure they are all happy and healthy that would be very cool.

I don’t know if you heard, but due some serious mismanagement by a series of incompetent buffoons, Ireland has been a bit economically unstable lately. If you could make sure none of my friends suffer because of this that would be great. I really couldn’t care less about bankers, politicians and fat cat businessmen. You can let them swing if you want, but if you could just make sure my friends are ok for work and can pay the bills, you’d be a legend.

Have you been reading Blog, Santa? Insertwittypopculturereferencehere? I think you’d really enjoy it. I really enjoy doing it. Being a writer is great. I have a few friends who are doing stuff they love doing too. It’s great to see them following their dreams. I’m very proud of them all. I know you’re something of a patron of the arts, so you should really make it so they do really well in 2011.

If you do that I promise I’ll be even better this year. I’ll even cut out the dubious 'relationship choices' … although I’m sure as a red blooded man you can understand some that.

I know not everyone can have a great year and there has to be sadness in some peoples life. If it’s a case that any of my friends have a tough time could you make sure they have support. If bad things happen, let them find solace somewhere. Can you make sure they know they can always talk to me if they want?

So you see Santa…Its not like I’m being greedy or mean or anything. I mean if you want to get me a publishing deal or a girlfriend who looks like Penelope Cruz, I’m very cool with that, but you should look after my friends first.

Yours sincerely

Jayhaitch.

So you see it’s not like I forgot about you guys completely. I’m sending you Christmas wishes and I’ve dedicated a blog to you. Surely that’s better than socks and Lynx deodorant box set.I can always get you a veg steamer for your birthday?

Kinda Random

So I feel like I owe you people something. I didn’t get to post anything a couple of weeks ago so I feel as if I’ve short changed you, the reader.

So in order to make it up to you I’ve decided that instead of a full blog, I will just share with you some very random thoughts that I have been having lately. Nothing too heavy or life changing. Just a couple of opinions, reviews and recommendations that you can take or leave as you wish.

1) I love Custard Creams. I had an aunt who used to work in Jacobs when I was a kid. We used to get loads of biscuits. Goldgrain, Chocolate Goldgrain, Fig Rolls, Kimberly to name but a few. And then there was Custard Creams. Custard Creams are a biscuit sandwich with a dollop of vanilla, not custard (I don't actually like custard) flavoured cream-esque substance between them.

As a boy I used to eat them by the dozens.

Then as time went by, they seemed to become passé. I didn’t want bland Custard Creams. I could have colossal chocolate chip cookies or magnificent muffins. My tea time snack had moved on. I was a sophisticated cosmopolitan man about town now. I wanted new and exciting taste sensations.

That was until recently. I was in work and one of my wonderful colleagues had bought a packet of Londis brand Custard Creams. I was having a cup of tea so I thought sure I’d have one. It was amazing. On top of all the biscuit-y goodness that was teasing my palate it tasted like nostalgia. And since then I’ve been hooked. I’m on about a pack a week. I may need to see if I can find a confectionary rehab programme.

2) I really enjoy working in Muji. It’s a very relaxed atmosphere, my colleagues are great people. The customers are usually pretty nice. I haven’t had any bad ones anyway. I know one or two have appeared but I’ve been lucky to not have to deal with them. Instead I get to chat to nice customers who are pretty chilled out, (in fairness, its hard to get stressed out about buying pens,) don’t mind passing the time of day with you and being friendly.

As part time in between jobs go. Its pretty cool.

3) As a symbol of a something that is supposed to be about love for one another and human compassion the Crucifix is pretty fucking severe. In the grounds of Mount Argus church there is full size crucifix with a statue of Jesus nailed to it.

I know I’m not the first person to point out the hypocrisy of Christian (or any) religion to profess a love for mankind and yet to have such a history of massacre and brutality. This is not an original thought. It is however something that continues to this day when we should all have reached a state of enlightenment.

Instead, when we send our children (mankind’s…not mine obviously) to school they are still being emotionally blackmailed into believing that Jesus endured the tortures of having spikes driven through his extremities and died nailed to a cross for their souls. Catholic guilt starts with the Catholic guilt trip.

4) For a more succinct take on why religion is bullshit I suggest you take in the works of George Carlin. When it came to religion or any of humanity’s bullshit and hypocrisy, George was truly one of the great minds of the last 100 years. And he was hilarious. As a comedian his material is unparalleled and his influence is immeasurable. If you’re a fan of any contemporary comedian worth his salt, then you will have felt Carlin’s reach in their work.

A clever and erudite man, George Carlin was as controversial as they come. His disregard for the falseness and hypocrisy of fame led him to seek out an alternative path. He turned his back on a successful career in light entertainment comedy in search for something more fulfilling. He became one of the most challenging and outspoken voice of the 60’s and 70’s. The only thing that could compare to his anti-authoritarian feelings was his love of language and he managed to tie these beautifully together in his piece called ‘7 words you can never say on television.’ If you haven’t heard it, stop reading this bullshit and go find it. Get some use out of the Internet for crying out loud.

5) Spanking. What is that all about? I’ve a pretty liberal outlook when it comes to sexual peccadilloes but honestly. Has anyone ever really taken a sexual pleasure from being on either end of the act of the smacking a bare hand on a bare ass? Don’t get me wrong. I’ve done it. But purely in a ‘sex is fun, lets have a laugh’ kind of way. I’ve gotten no particular pleasure out of it. Is it supposed to be taken seriously?

I only ask because my housemates seem to get an enormous amount of enjoyment from it. I can only assume they are enjoying it because they are always doing it. Seven or eight slaps a time. Judging by the yelps of delight he is the spanker and she the spankee. I might be wrong, I only have what I can hear morning, noon and night to go by. Each to their own I guess.

6) I wanted to a list of ten things but I’ve decided I might try hold off on some of them for proper blogs. So in the mean time, here are some things I recommend you go find and enjoy.

Questionable Content. It’s like a rom-com-indie-pop-techno-babble-sci-fi-sex-triangle web comic. Its been keeping me amused.

George Carlin. I talked about him earlier. He will make you laugh and think. I would suggest albums such as Class Clown, AM/FM, Jammin in New York and Life is worth losing. You can probably see most of his material on You Tube.

Shutter Island. An old fashioned mystery thriller directed by Martin Scorsese and a movie that finally allowed me to take Leonardo DiCaprio seriously as an actor.

Water Music by T.C. Boyle. A bonkers brilliant book that a friend gave be to read. Set at the end of the 18th Century showing a side of London that Dickens never wrote about and the Jungle adventures of an explorer trying to make a name for himself in the world.

House M.D. It can be a little repetitive with its mystery illness/trial and error/ find the cure formula but the characters in this programme are so well crafted that it is much more interesting as a study of people than a medical drama. Hugh Laurie is outstanding and Olivia Wilde is incredibly hot.

He Drinks Tequila by Crystal Swing. Awesome!!!!

So there you go. Just a little to give you some kind of an idea of what’s going on at the moment. Normal blogging service will resume later in the week.

Headlights

"So you're leaving the country and you can't give me a lift to work anymore? You're actually going to let me get two buses every day while you go and live in some island paradise, walking around in your bikini, drinking mojitos and eyeing up tanned muscleheads? You Selfish Bitch"


This is not an actual conversation that I had. It could have been if I weren't so socially intuitive. I didn't feel it was the right place to express those feelings.


So here we are in the second month of 2010. February marks the one year anniversary of an occasion of mixed emotions for me. For it was this time last year that I was abandoned (that 'might' be a bit harsh) by a loved one. But I did get a car.


My best friend Lisa had just gotten a new job in the Cayman Islands and would be leaving the country. I was conflicted. I was disappointed to be losing my drinking buddy and confidante. I was excited for her wonderful opportunity. I was kinda wondering would she sleep with me before she left...youknowwhatimsayin... (I should point out that she didn't, she wouldn't, I never suggested it out of respect for our friendship and she is probably going to punch me for writing it down. ) And I was worried how the hell I was going to get to work every morning.


On top of being my go to guy (girl) for good times and laughter, for the past two years, more or less every day, Lisa had been giving me a lift to and from work. Unless she had a meeting or I was too hungover to get up on time, my good buddy Lisa B. drove me to work in the mornings and most days waited an extra 30 mins to give me a lift home. Now she was leaving? That was just...downright...inconvienent.

I don't know if any of you take Dublin Bus these days. It smells. Its dirty. Its full of people hacking and spluttering strains of germs that could lead to the type of global hysteria that you see nowadays when Miss Piggy gets the sniffles.

The latest phenomenon to hit Dublin Bus is two fold. Both of which lead to your aural senses being attacked by bad music being played on poor equipment. You either have the seemingly Eastern European with the incredibly loud, hardcore/electro/techno/noize (thats with a 'z' to emphasis its shitness) played through cheap earphones which offer no protection to passers by. Or you have the school girl in her fake Ugg boots minus the pyjamas this time, it is a school day, and Le Coq Sportif school bag, playing Rhinanna or Akon on their phone. Over and over and over again.

Either way, it's rubbish music, with rubbish speakers, making a rubbish noise, listened to by rubbish people on a rubbish bus.

So what i'm trying to say is, I don't like public transport. And as someone who lived in Harolds Cross and worked out in Citywest this was going to provide a problem. Someone who at 32 years of age had still not bothered to learn to drive.

Its not that i never bothered. I had tried before. But i just didn't follow through. And my confidence in my ability to master an automobile was fairly low. I could drive a car. I just couldn't stop, turn, park or reverse it. But when I weighed up the options there was only on thing for it.

The next time I went to visit my soon to be departing buddy, I presented her with my idea almost as soon as she opened the door. "Lisa", i said as i unveiled my brilliant concept. " I want to buy Doreen"




This is Doreen. She's 12 years old. She's from Waterford. She's smart, reliable, responsive and despite a bit of a rough start she generally treats me well. Which is more than can be said for most of the women in my life.

For the previous seven or eight years she had belonged to Lisa. First as a little run around in Tramore Co. Waterford before laterly being part of Lisa's move to the 'big' city for her new job and career in Account Management and Sales Marketing.

So from a Bumpkin-Mobile to a Sex and the City style runaround (Yes, I know those women didn't drive, but i'm going for a certain imagery people) Doreen had been good to Lisa and Lisa was good to Doreen. She christened her Doreen because she was green. And well, Doreen rhymes with green. It makes sense if you know Lisa.

However, as Lisa prepared to leave the Emerald Isle (not the Doreen Isle, you'll notice), she was faced with the harsh reality of leaving the most loyal dependable friend that she is ever had (not to mention me) behind.

She also needed cash. And fast. She needed as much start up capitol as she could lay her hands on before starting her new life in Grand Cayman, and while Doreen had been a companion, now she was an asset that needed liquidating.

So as she was starting to consider placing an ad in the Buy and Sell, and all the hassle that that entailed my idea to buy Doreen saved her a lot of hassle. The benefits for her in my purchasing were

She knew where i lived if there was any issue with payment.
I was willing to wait until she was actually leaving so she had a car up until her last day in Dublin
I was unlikely to sue my good friend if I wasn't happy with my purchase
I would continue to call her Doreen

The pluses for me taking it off her hands were

I knew the car. I knew she was generally reliable
I needed a car that i could learn to drive in. And while i hope to have Doreen for years to come shes a sturdy mature lady that doesn't need to rely on her looks to get by. The odd scratch her and there would not bother Doreen.
It saved me having to go to a dealer and pretend I have any kind of clue about cars. Going around kicking the tyres and tutting isn't fooling anybody
I would be doing my friend a good turn before she left me.
I would be able to call my car Doreen without anyone being able to question my motives. It had that name when I bought her.

So we agreed. I would give Lisa €1000 and for that I would take ownership of Doreen Greene (yes, of course she has a full name). A 98 Waterford reg Nissan Micra GX 1.1ltr engine with 70,000 miles on the clock. As a couple of bonus sundrys that came with Doreen I got, a functioning car stereo with CD player, a hands free kit and phone charger that Lisa 'forgot' to return to her old job, an in-car dirt devil vacuum and a bright yellow lock for the the gearstick/handbrake.

Oh...i've recently discovered that I also got an ashtray full of chewed gum, that the seller was supposed to clean out before she gave me the car. Luckily I don't smoke so I can forgive her. Besides she had other things on her mind.

Someday, I will tell you all about the stresses and strains of learning to drive, dealing with mechanics and clipping the side of a Bin Lorry. I might even tell you about saying goodbye to Lisa, tearful train station hug et al. But for now, I just want people to know. I'm on the roads.

So as the old sergent from Hill Street Blues used to say. Lets be careful out there.

So how am I doing so far. Are we all liking the blog? Well if so why not click on the follow button on the side there. As a reward when I get a certain amount of followers I will post a little short story i wrote. Its funny and gross. I can't tell you how many I need before I post it. Like George Clooney said in Up in the Air. "I have a figure in mind but I haven't hit it yet"

So follow me...please. I'm a very needy person

Jayhaitch in Review 2009

I really like this time of year. Sleighbells ringing, snow is falling and you better watch out you better not cry. Yes its Christmas and tis the season to be jolly. Everyone is generally in a bit of a better mood. Whether they are addled by the party season or goodwill to all men is debatable. But everyone likes Christmas. Including grumpy old J.H.

And one of the reasons I love Christmas is because its near the end of the year. And every magazine, newspaper, television show and soapbox pontificator does a review of the best and worst of the year. And in the tradition of such I want to do mine.

You can, however, relax. I’m not going to do a best of movies or music or cups of coffee that I’ve sampled. I’m going to a top ten things of all things John Holohan in 2009. (That might include some movies or music but only in a good way).

So here it is. In no particular order. Jay Haitch’s 2009 in review. If you read it and you like it, maybe you’ll do your own.

10:Therapy

This time last year I was a wreck. My blood pressure was of the charts. I was constantly having headaches. I was stressed out by work. I was depressed. I went to my G.P. and she recommended some counselling sessions. I’m not sure of your take on counselling but here was mine. Is there a stigma? Surely its just for neurotic Americans? Do I really need it? What will I get from it?

The answer to these questions are; the stigma is only in your head. I was amazed how good and supportive my friends were. I did choose to only tell my closest friends (til now) and as far as anyone else having a problem or a preconception with it…I guess its like every other prejudice. Who really gives a shit what small minded people think.

No its not just for Woody Allen types. There isn’t a single person in the world who wouldn’t benefit from it at one stage in their life. Anyone who says this isn’t true…well…they need therapy .

Yes I needed it. The stress I was feeling with work was born out of my frustration with many other aspects of my life. My Family, my love life, work, moving house 7 times in 8 years and a general sense of arrrgggghhh all led to my feelings of frustration, anger, helplessness, self-loathing (that might be a bit strong…but I definitely didn’t like myself.)

What I got from it was a bit of understanding. An ability to stand up and take responsibility for how my life goes. For the most part I control what I take from the great journey that is existence. I now see how I can deal with any problems that come up and there is no need for me to let it all build up and there is no need to fear anything. Life happens. I can cope.

I’ve been seeing my counsellor Adeela since January. Initially weekly, then fortnightly and then Monthly. This Saturday I will have my last scheduled session with her. Does that mean I’m ‘sane again? I’m not sure I was ever really ‘crazy’ but whatever it means, it’s a good feeling.


9:Driving

One of the first things I got out of counselling was Adeela challenged me to complete something. Start something and see it through to the end. As it happened, I had just bought Lisa’s car ‘Doreen’ and was planning to learn to drive. So I did.

Initially it was the single most traumatic experience I have ever had. Bumps and scrapes were bountiful and the sound of other drivers horns is something I still hear sometimes in the darkness. But I persevered. It is an incredibly liberating thing and I love the fact that I can do it. Even if I am 33 and most people learn when they are 15. Don’t burst my bubble man.



8: Movies

I’ve been without full time work for the last couple of months. So I’ve been taking full advantage of my Cineworld Multipass. For €19.99 a month I can go to as many movies as I like. So I’ve seen a lot of movies, I probably could do a Top 10 of the year or whatever. I won’t though. What I will say is that I’ve seen two movies this year that I know I will watch again and again.

500 days of Sumer is just my kinda movie. It is a non traditional love story where the boy doesn’t get the girl. I love that. Annie Hall, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and now this. Also it has a pretty cool soundtrack

Then there is A Serious Man. I only saw it yesterday so maybe my ‘gra’ for it is because it fresh in my mind. To be honest, I think its just because its brilliant. Its funny. It has pathos. It deals with physics and religion. It highlights a lot of life’s futilities and pointlessness. Its got some fantastic performances. It has immediately challenged Lebowski and Barton Fink as my favorite Cohen Brother movie.


7: Pueblo Ingles

In October, I spent 8 days on an English speaking programme in Spain. The idea was I volunteered my time to spend time with some Spanish people and the Spanish people could only speak English for that time. For 8 DAYS. Imagine spending that much time speaking a language that isn’t your first with a bunch of strangers, miles away from your family and friends. No phone, limited internet access and a real sense of WTF? (or the Spanish equivalent)

Despite the daunting nature of the course the people who I met there are some of the warmest, most open people that I have ever met. Spanish and Anglos (English speakers) alike.

To have the opportunity to meet and get to know people who I generally wouldn’t have had the chance to is truly one of the best moments of my life.

6: Music

I did movies so I guess I should do some music from the year too. I think my favourite of the year has to be Lungs by Florence and the Machine. It has a real sense of ‘ get up’ about it. I can’t imagine sitting passively listening to it. Its got some great tunes, she’s a bit bonkers (always a plus) and its hard to think of anything bad about it. I’m not a music critic, I just like this album.


5: Growing a Beard

My Beard is Awesome. Beards are Awesome. If you don’t have a beard (and are a man) then shame on you. BEARDS RULE!!!!

4: My Sister Had a Baby

His name is Sam. He’s very cute. My baby sister is all grown up. She’s 9 years younger than me, she is my only sister. She has a beautiful family and I’m very proud of her. I told her this. That’s not something that comes easy in our family. But I told her. And its something I’m really glad I did. I should say I was very drunk at the time. But she knew I meant it.

3: Books.

Books are another thing that is very important to me. I haven’t read as much as I’d like now that I’m driving. But the best book I read this year was an old one. Its called Miramar by an Egyptian writer called Naguib Mahfouz. It is set in a hostel in Egypt in the 1960’s. It looks at a series of events from the different perspectives of some of its inhabitants and how they revolve around a beautiful peasant girl.

It was borrowed from a friend who really recommended it. Find it and Read it.
Oh and the Watchmen graphic novel was much better than the movie


2: Reassessing What is important in Life

Maybe reassessing is the wrong word. For the most part I’m not sure I ever knew what was important in life. I think I have a better handle on it now.

I don’t need things. I don’t need 27 different t shirts. Books, cd’s and dvd’s have been a huge part in my life. But I don’t need them, I can get them cheaper online and don’t need the physical thing. I’ve a very basic TV and laptop. I don’t need the latest gadgets and gismos.

I can help people. I don’t necessarily have many qualifications or skills. But I can help others by just giving of my time. People will always need help. I’m going to try and be available as much as possible.

My family are important to me. I’ve always been very proud of my independence. I don’t visit my family often. I’m not particularly close to them. But they are my family and I realise now what they have done for me. They have played an enormous part of shaping me and for that I’m eternally grateful.

I want my own family. That’s what life is all about. We are here to procreate. I guess the first step to that is finding a partner. Leave it with me. I’ll get back to you in 2010.


1: Leaving Meteor.

I know I said it wasn’t in any particular order. But this is definitely number 1. That job was suffocating me as a person. I’m not saying it was the companies fault. But while I was there I didn’t allow myself to develop and I just stunted. Without doubt the best thing I ever did.

Its was just a job. But it defined me. And now, I will be the main factor in defining me.

I know there was some mystery surrounding why I left so quickly so let me unveil my secret. Let me use the pirate metaphor. Did I jump, or was I pushed. Well I jumped. Before I was pushed. However I did manage to grab on to some of the treasure so that I could live comfortably on the secret island for a bit.


Blimey that was a lot longer than I expected. I doubt anyone’s read it all. But if you did, here is another little bit

Other things I’ve enjoyed this year

The Sopranos - never saw it til this year. Possibly the greatest piece of artistic endeavour for the last 40-50 years
Veronica Mars- Never saw it til this year.
House - Never saw it til this year.
Taking Woodstock - Very enjoyable movie
Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap. My favorite song of the last few months
Into the Wild - Only saw it this year
Gold Rapp in Tripod…or was that last year.
John and Lisa’s day of fun.
Working in Muji. Retail is fun.


Things I didn’t enjoy
Jedward
Lisa leaving Ireland
Football….raising my hopes and dashing them, constantly
Falling out with people (probably for the best but its not nice when its happening)
The Watchmen movie

So I’m kinda going into 2010 with a happy outlook on life and with no bad feeling towards anyone. I hope your doing the same????